Self-Love Series: Kai Part I

For Day 8 of the Self-Love Series is Kai, whose been one of my close friends since Kindergarten....again KINDERGARTEN! She's gorgeous, shes superwoman, I'm super jealous of her 'fro. I've decided to create her post into two parts so today and tomorrow will be dedicated to her also (I love her)

Self-Love Series Day 8:

When Ebony asked me to contribute to the series, I leaped at the opportunity. Not only because I think that she is amazing and that this is an amazing idea, but because I thought “hey, yea, I’ve been slackin’. I need to meditate on my needs”. I’m always encouraging my friends to practice self care when papers and college exams begin to, without fail, assert unfounded precedence over nutrition and sleep. I ask them to do self-care practices when I see or hear their stress levels creep up. A good friend of mine often gives a poignant reminder that “just know you don't have to do everything by yourself, even if you *technically* could and not *technically* die. Dying is not where we draw the line.” Whether that be some pampering, tea, to see a therapist (if they can afford one), talk to a supportive friend, or again, get more sleep, intentionalizing self-care practices fights the notion that we should “sleep when we’re dead”, a train of thought marginalized groups are discouraged from challenging. But in preparing to write this contribution, I realized that I haven’t practiced self love in a very long time. I haven’t been loving who I am or where I am in my life. I haven’t been prioritizing figuring out why that may be either. My eagerness to encourage/share was replaced with a lot of defeat.

I’ve found that sometimes self love requires us to first assess our capacity for love. Some of us can love easier than most, whether it comes to loving others or if it comes to loving ourselves. Some of us have a better foundation, some of us are just discovering what self love actually means, some of us are recovering from trauma, and some of us deal with depression. But I’m here to tell you that it'll be ok, that's normal, we’re allowed to figure out what self love is at our own pace, how to access it and intentionalize its use, and even struggle with it. I’m grateful for this opportunity to think critically and write about self love, because as a Black woman from the South, I’ve found that it’s important that I not only talk about self love, but that I talk about prioritizing it, intentionalizing it, and allowing myself to struggle with it. I googled self-love. I came upon a definition that describes it as ‘a regard for one's own well-being and happiness’. I did not have any luck finding the source of this definition, but I like it, so I’m going to go with it!

Kai is a native of Jackson, MS, a recent graduate of Columbia University in the City of New York, and currently lives in Washington, DC where she is currently doing a lot of working, growing, and dreaming.

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As always Peace and a whole 'lotta love,

SavvySunflower :)